You only know what I want you to. I know everything you don’t want me to. Your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine. You think your dreams are the same as mine.

I like the Civil Wars. They’re pretty darn good.

Anyways, I don’t know what has been up with me recently. I think I’ve woken up. I’m not going to my senior homecoming, I’m gonna go to Massanetta instead. I’m not going to pretend to like people at my school. I just plain don’t like them. And I’m not trying to be my best friend’s third wheel. No thanks. I’d rather go to Massanetta where people love me. For me. I also deleted my twitter. I no longer see the point in writing short meaningless tweets to 56 followers who really don’t care. I’d rather pour my heart out to my tumblr that no one reads. Then I can go back and read how I really feel versus how I wanted people to think I felt. I can’t tell if that is grammatically correct. Oh well. Is my computer still frozen? I take that as a yes.

I don’t want to wear make up anymore. I just hate that whenever I don’t, people assume I’m sad. Its like no. I’m just naturally puffy faced. ALL THE TIME. Thanks for reminding me. Ha but really.

I miss Peyton Manning. I literally cry every time a sports broadcaster brings up the face that he may never play again. I love him.

Ooh, I don’t love you but I always will.

It seems that I’m already planning out my whole life. Applying for auditions for college level music. Scary shit. So I”ve been doing my research, aka looking up college auditions on youtube which turned in to me listening to soundcloud.com. Which is awesome btw. Bess Rogers is so good. As is Allie Moss. As is freaking Deni Hlavinka, (we went to the same voice instructor). She’ll probably be famous one day. It just makes me want to be in a band. So I told Evan that him and Jacob better step their games up. I really don’t know what I want to do with my life though. I want to be everything. I need to play Cabby. I miss him. He’s right there. On my wall. I’m going to start practicing. And writing. And collaborating. If you’re down for being famous with me….. hmu. Ha what if I actually said stuff like that. Okay well time for more “research”.

In Government on Tuesday, our teacher proposed a question: Why aren’t we more like Finland?

For those who aren’t aware, Finland is a Democratic Socialist country. They give up practically half of their income to taxes, and the more money you have, the more money you are fined for driving violations. In return, you get free health care and free college. Not only that, but their school systems are incredible, producing the smartest children in the world. 

This sounds amazing right? Why can’t us Americans do this? Most of the people in my class spoke right up saying things like, “Absolutely! Our parents are so greedy! Lets just pay higher taxes, free health care and college is totally worth it. We’re idiots for not doing this already,” while the other few were outraged that anyone could dare question America the way she is.

I was honestly torn on this topic, I can completely see where paying a little bit more on taxes would be worth it if no one had to pay for health care or college, but being fairly conservative, I know that that isn’t how it would all work out. The ratio of poor to rich in America is too big of a gap for the upper class to “provide” for the poor. If we were the size of Finland and we hadn’t already dug ourselves in to a hole I would be all for trying to be a tad more Socialist, but unfortunately too many people would take advantage of the system. So where do we go? What do we do now?

I believe that if we’re going to ever strive for a better economy, for free health care, for free college, then we need to go back to basics. I mean this literally. A movie I watched in Government today showed how horrible our public school system is as a whole. Depending on where you live, you could end up in a great school and you will be set for life. But, you could also end up in an inner city school where you would attend a “Drop-out factory”. The movie informed my class that in some schools, 50% of kids drop out. In states like Alabama and Mississippi, less that 20% of kids that do graduate are proficient in English. Think about that. Kids are passing grades, but not tests.

Another thing the movie pointed out is that America as a whole is the loser when it comes to math. At the same time, we are the most confident about our math skills. This is so upsetting to me. We are CONFIDENT about our IGNORANCE. I need Zen just to let this sink in. We’re producing quite honestly, stupid adults. These “stupid adults” will not go to college. They’ll drop out and not get big paying jobs. Our hopes of free health care can just die right now. It’ll never happen with the gap between rich and poor. It will continue to grow.

So where do we go from here? I’d say, “tax us, Tax us and use the money to rebuild our public schools.” Can our Government handle that one… we’ll that’s a topic for another day.